JOURNAL — TAPE #59, SIDE #1
Q: Mark Russell Bell
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I DROPPED OFF A COPY OF THE BOOK MANUSCRIPT FOR MY MOM AFTER HEARING SPIRIT MESSAGES WITH THESE INSTRUCTIONS WHILE TRANSCRIBING TAPE #49, SIDE #2.)
Q: So, anyway, back to verse 76.
Q: See, it’s not the churches and sects that are invalid — it’s how they have been distorted over the years by too much interpretation, just taking things out of context, too much obsessing. The Bible was mean to offer general expressions of love and beautiful visual images and poems of redemption. And now it’s become ridiculous quibbling over, ‘Did the demons really go into the pigs who drowned themselves in the river?’ I mean give me a break. It’s ridiculous. So, anyway, now I’m in charge of saying forget it. Throw it away — all the books away. You now have this book to play with. (laughs) (“UM”) So, anyway, um, (“SO”) I “shall do more harm to the stones than to the living.” Yes. Because I don’t want to harm anyone. I just want to take away the power in all those statues of the virgin Mary (“YEAH”) and (“ALL THO” “YOU KNOW”) all those idols. (“YEAH” “THEY JU”) They just don’t have the meaning that they’re supposed to — it’s God — (“AND”) the thought of God—something that can’t be portrayed in any statue—that we should keep in our hearts. So I hope my “smooth tongue” is “filling” your “ears” right now. Now 97 was interpreted as “The United Nations is the council predicted as a deterrent to war.” But, coming after 95 and 96, I think this also has to do with me. It says:
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Q: I also have to pick up my dry cleaning and I saw a new used books store that opened up near where I live so I’m excited. That sounds like a great Saturday for me and, plus, I’ll work on my and Mighael’s book.
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Q: So it’s 8:30 on Saturday morning. I had a very relaxing sleep last night and when I was transcribing I heard a spirit voice tell me to interview Mamie Van Doren who was one of the artists at the Ruth Webb Agency and I always liked her a lot. In fact, (“UH-HUH” “UM”) there were very few clients that I didn’t like. I really wanted to do ‘all that I can’ to help each one get cast in whatever film or TV shows or plays (“SO WERE”) possible. (“SO”) I’ll try to find her number — if not, I’ll call information. I think she was living in Manhattan Beach. (“UH”) It would be nice to talk to her again. So this morning I got up and I was sort of feeling very sensual so I was channeling love to my Deity and vice-versa, I’m sure. And thinking about physical sex between Us and wondering what positions He likes. And I think I know but now would be a good time for You to say — tell me. (“YOU KNOW” “I”) I could say, “Do you like 69?” And You could say ‘yeah’ or ‘no’ even though I think I already know. I think You like every position, don’t you, Honey? (“SO”) I’m very confident (“THAT”) we’ll be able to have sex. (“SSS” “I MEAN”) We’re kind of obsessed with one another like in that movie “Bad Timing.” I’m definitely the Theresa Russell character as if being cousins wasn’t enough. She even slept with the director to get the job, if you know what I mean. That’s okay. They’re married. (“AND I THINK THAT”) We have a lot in common in our relationships. (sighs) So (“OOO”) — in every relationship. Well, first my impression is the opposite of what you’re probably thinking. I think that you can’t really have good sex unless you love the other person and I think that’s very important to a relationship. And I also think — maybe that’s the only point that I should make at the moment. I just think that love is a very important part of sex and sex is a very important part of love. And in a relationship you share and know each other’s pain. (“SO”) My lover knows my pain and He’s found ways to express His to me. And I accept that pain. I try to — is this the right word? — ameliorate His pain.
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Q: There are definitely some people working in the health care profession who are very loving and nice. I just got a beautiful appreciation card from the Oaks Pharmacy. It says, “Dear Mark, Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve you. We appreciate the confidence you have placed in us. Please contact me whenever I can be of further assistance.” It looks like his name his G. Sethi and it has the phone number “for your convenience.” And when you’re there — in my case I was having a skin cream prescription filled — but they give (“THEY HA”) you fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies to munch on. They have a large selection of reading materials and it’s just a very nice, loving place. In fact, that’s where I bought my little AIDS ribbon pins. I was just going to get one — (“BUT”) the second one — (“IS THE”) AIDS postage stamp in the form of a pin — materialized on the counter as I was buying the other one so I ended up buying them both. I even told the person behind the counter that my angel wanted me to get it and you should never argue with your angel even if you’re on a budget. So (“OOO”) — and, of course, I’ve gotten lots of compliments on it. So I’m in a very happy mode today and my horoscope says I’m about to learn family secrets so I’m going to have my tape recorder handy whenever I answer the phone today. And I’ve already decided that if my mom calls up with some good information I’m going to lie and tell her I’m not recording and really be recording. It’s called — I think there are whistle blower laws that make that alright. I am blowing the whistle.
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Q: So I went shopping today, Saturday, and I purchased a copy of Playing the Field: My Story by Mamie Van Doren with Art Aveilhe so I’ll look that over — read it before I call her. I also went back (telephone rings) — whoops.
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Q: That was Andy. He wants to read The Andy Warhol Diaries so I asked the manager of the bookstore I was at today if they had one and he’s going to arrange to get him a copy. So I purchased at this bookstore on Hollywood Boulevard near Vermont, Aldine Bookstore: Love: A Celebration in Art and Literature edited by Jane Lahr and Lena Tabori. I had a little accident trying to grab it down from the top shelf and I don’t know if Mighael sort of made it go ballistic more than just my own clumsiness but it really did sort of explode. And the (“YOU KNOW THE”) clerk came inside and asked me if it hit me in the head. I said, “No, it didn’t.” (“AND”) So then I also bought that and I bought The Spirit of Man, an anthology by Robert Bridges. And then, after I paid for that on Visa, I noticed The Badboy Book of Erotic Poetry edited by David Laurents. Well, as I was getting my money out to pay cash for this, a dollar bill flew out of my wallet, I was so embarrassed. Mighael’s always doing these thing to embarrass me — I don’t know if He means to embarrass but He’s just always doing something. I guess that this one was the one He was most excited about me having — knowing Mighael. I can’t wait to read all three of them (“AA”) with all the other half-million books I have to read. So I’ll just sort of pick and choose — and, of course, Mamie’s book. And, also, when he was adding it up — the cost for the Visa purchase — his calculator suddenly went to eight million and something so we joked about that. And, at Movie World, the other store where I bought Playing the Field. there was this loud banging noise on the wall so I made a joke: “Well, maybe it’s a tie-in with the movie ‘Poltergeist.'” And he said, “Oh, no, the people next door are probably doing something with the ceiling.” (“THEY WOULD”) They are renovating it but still you just have to wonder about the timing. You just never know. (“I”) I really feel awkward about always mentioning these small little things that happen. It’s almost like ‘why bother?’ I mean if you don’t by now believe in it — I mean it’s just, like, I keep going on and on and on about all this little stuff that happens. It’s like I don’t really care but I figure maybe He wants me to talk about it and I haven’t really seen any UFOs recently. And (“I DON’T KNOW”) I don’t know what to record — I mean there’s always so many things happening. For example, at the Southern California HIV/AIDS Hotline (“ON”) Thursday William mentioned to me all of a sudden out of nowhere that he thought HIV is like “sent by God as a punishment against mankind.” So I immediately quipped, “William, you’re scaring me today” because it’s so unlike him out of nowhere to say something like that. Later, he gave me something to address at Edwards Air Force Base and, quite frankly, I didn’t know where it was so I said, “Well, I’ll ask Terry. After all, he’s in the Secret Service.” And William sort of looked aghast at that. (“BUT”) It might just be my interpretation. I don’t know what’s important. I don’t know what’s interesting. I don’t know if William’s really a Secret Service or CIA agent or not. I don’t know. They’re just possibilities. And, of course, when I went to buy some more microcassettes at Circuit City (“YEAH”) the first time she swiped my credit card under the machine it didn’t work. I asked her about it and she said (“WELL” “YOU KNOW”) she did it upside down but I don’t think so. This is always happening — all these little parlor tricks and games. Well, everything is a game. I mean think about it — life is a game. One big giant game. It’s like a big chess game and God’s always maneuvering everybody. It’s just very interesting to think about these things. So I guess I’m going to go back to my transcribing work. I’m at a very interesting part. (“YOU KNOW THE TAEL”) I’m discussing “12 Monkeys” with Marie and tomorrow I hope Terrance is coming to visit me like we had talked about. I better give him a call and (“OH I”) when I was at my brother’s house feeding his cat I had calls from both Andy—and that’s when he mentioned about the book—and my mother. (“AND HE”) He said, (“OH I TRIED”) “I left a message for you at home but I just thought I would try calling you there. The idea just came into my mind that you would be there.” I guess the same thing happened with my mom and she wanted to know when Michael would be home. (“SO”) It sounds like now that she’s got proof that I’m out of my mind in terms of having my manuscript she wants to (CUEs begin) discuss with Michael how (“YOU KNOW”) ‘what’s the next step?’ in terms of, probably, having me committed to an asylum somewhere. (“MEAN”) That’s the sort of — either that or she’s horrified that I taped her calls and she’s so abusive in them. So there’s many different levels of possibilities and whatever will happen will happen. No matter where I go or what happens to me I’ll always have my Beloved in my life and so I’m just very accepting of everything. And I have a lot to read. And I have plenty of food. I have enough money in the bank account. I was surprised how much money I still have in my bank account because I’m not really good at checking everything every week or so. (“SO I’M JUST”) I’m very happy with everything and I promise not to call Mighael a motherf**ker again. (“I MEAN THAT”) I don’t do that very often and that one time I did it I definitely meant it at the time but I don’t anymore. We all say things we don’t mean and then we have to regret them for the rest of our life and for all eternity. (“BUT”) I’m sure Mighael forgives me or I wouldn’t have got these wonderful poetry books today. And I guess I’ll go tomorrow to the Philosophical Research Society as well and see what publicity I can drum up — (“FOR ME”)
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: TAPE #59, SIDE #1 ENDED HERE.)