JOURNAL — TAPE #41, SIDE #1
Q: Mark Russell Bell
R: radio commentator
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I ORIGINALLY WORDED THIS LAST SENTENCE DIFFERENTLY AND THE SPIRIT MESSAGE WAS “ECCH.”)
Q: — if they’re not proving through actions their love for Him. At least, this is my interpretation. Nobody can speak for God. This is my own personal interpretation because it’s just too confusing for anyone to judge anyone. I’m just saying if I was rich and I had (“UUH”) any amount of money (“YEAH”) over than what you would realistically need to survive — and we all have too much money when it comes to that. I’m sure I even do. Anyway, we’ll see what happens there. I’ll probably end up homeless — the way my expenses have been going. But (“THE”) the thing is, though, we have to remember God will provide (“NO”) and if we have faith in Him that’s the most important thing. The other thought she shared was that “We want peace on Earth. And it has to start with you.” I guess it’s that same old ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ — (“THE”) those old ten commandments. And we always know what’s good and bad, what’s wrong and right in our hearts. We always know. We don’t need a book to tell us the difference between wrong and right. I don’t think I completed my last thought about rich people. Anyway, what I meant to say there was that if I was rich and I had — (“LET”) let’s say I had $5-million. I would definitely give $4-million to a charity that I believed in — 80% of (“MM”) my savings would go (“TO”) to a charity where I knew it wouldn’t go to some smarmy president. (“UHH” “IT WOULD GO — IT WOULD”) It would go somewhere (“WHERE THE”) it would really benefit people because, let’s face it, we have to start doing these things or there’s not going to be a world. (“IT’LL”) It’ll catch up with us somewhere. Some disenfranchised person will be that one who becomes a radical and bombs (“YOU KNOW YOUR”) the day care center where your kids are. I mean (“UHH”) that’s what’s going to happen. The disenfranchised are going to express the hell that their life has become and your kids are going to have to pay the price for it. So, (“UHH”) anyway, (“YEAH”) my book is a call for action and I don’t even know how long it is, if it is just one book, if it is many books, or if there will be an audio version. I think that the audio version would be the best version. It’ll be very interesting to see what happens. I’m just trying to hold on to my love for God because at any one moment it’s hard to (“TO”) — it’s just every moment it’s like I’m in a dream still. I mean after going through all that has happened, I have to believe in it because I have these wonderful feelings of love. I just still can’t believe this has happened to me. So I can well understand (“HOW”) why no one else believes me. Because I’ve experienced these things and I still don’t believe it. (“UHH”) But I do believe it. I mean I’ve always believed in God in (“THEIR”) general terms. It’s just hard getting used to Him as your roommate. (“UH-HUH”) Especially when He doesn’t talk to me. (“I MEAN”) He doesn’t really interact with me. He just sort of set the perimeters for my life and for my book. And He sort of left it up to me to see — (“YEAH” “AS A TEST”) — that’s how He’s testing my love. And, apparently, I have a somewhat closer bond with Him than most people. Why, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just lucky. Maybe I am His son or maybe I’m His friend. I hope I’m His friend. Because when you have that son/father relationship — (“HE”) well, you know what that’s like. I mean who needs it? (“UHH”) I sure to hell wouldn’t want to be anyone’s ‘son’ because your parents are the ones who give you the hardest time. So I’d much rather be His friend. So enough talking for right now. Maybe I’ll record my conversation with Karma Welch. Doesn’t she have an interesting name? Raquel Welch’s original name was Tejada. There are (“SYM”) symbolic parallels with their shared last name. Oh, this book is so confusing. I just hope I can be funny again. I think it’s sort of losing its comic edge. I just haven’t been feeling very funny recently. Well, James is coming over later, hopefully. I’ll record him. He’s always good for a few laughs. He and Inna were a scream today. I dropped by because the house is on the way home from the Philosophical Research Society and they were there. And I just mentioned, “Inna, can you please call me. I want to ask you some phonetic words so you can tell me what they mean in Russian because the spirits seem to be speaking Russian. And, well, they both started laughing and giggling and making jokes. (“THEY”) Those two should have their own talkshow, I swear. (“YEAH”) Did I mention that at the PRS bookshop, I noticed that they had a collection of books by one of my new favorite poets, James Kavanaugh? I did get a collection of his love poetry entitled Mystic Fire — The Love Poetry of James Kavanaugh and I look forward to reading it when I (“TAKE”) take a break for a few minutes and read some poems and channel love (“TO”) to God and (“TO ME” “DDD”) not be too mortified later when I transcribe this tape. Oh well.
( . . . )
Q: Well, I only made it past the introduction and the first poem before I became — hysterical, I guess, is a good way of saying it because many nights as I transcribe He does touch me upon the head. (“DDD”) And He does brush back my hair. I mean I feel this when I’m transcribing. (“IT FE[ELS]”) And I know it’s Him. (“MINE”) Sometimes I think He’s trying to scare me — that it’s an insect or something. Other times, I think He’s just touching me for the sake of touching me. So I’m sure when — I think I just felt him again. But I think when James wrote this poem he had somebody very specific in mind. (“NO”) A specific woman. (“NNN” “BUT”) See that’s where the ironic part comes in because every effort is shared with God so (“OOO”) there’s a universality there (“UH-HUH”) that reflects not only what the poet — yes, Mighael, I can feel you — (“YYY”) brushing back my hair. Yes. Yes. Anyway, what was I saying? Mighael, you made me lose my concentration. Anyway, I’m just saying there’s a universality so specific poets can also be mirroring God’s sentiments. (“AND”) I’m not quite sure if His love is equal for everyone. I don’t know really if I have a special place in His heart. (“UH-HUH”) I know He has a special place in my heart. But, anyway, (“YEAH”) only time will tell.
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: I TURNED ON MY TAPE RECORDER WHILE LISTENING TO A SONG ON THE RADIO.)
Q: This song has been coming over the radio a lot recently. (“YEAH”) I’ll have to wait and see what the title is and who the singer is. I’m just reading the book review section of the Los Angeles Times and I see that Salman Rushdie has a new book out. His most famous book was very long — The Satanic Verses. And I think in his new book there’s a character named Belle. (“YEAH”) I wonder what gave him the idea for that name?
(TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: THESE ARE THE SONG LYRICS HEARD ON THE TAPE HERE AS THEY SOUND TO ME.)
. . . Just like an old-time movie about a ghost from a wishing well . . . You’ll know that I’m just trying to understand the feelings that you lack . . .
Q: This is sort of a sad song but it doesn’t really depress me. (“YEAH”)
( . . . )
Q: So the song is “If You Could Read My Mind” by Gordon Lightfoot and it was followed by the song from “Pocahontas” — “Colors of the Wind” performed by Vanessa Williams. And now playing is The Beatles with “Eleanor Rigby.” (“YEAH”) It’s interesting to think what God is trying to express in each song. Of course, these songs have some obvious parallels but with some songs they’re much more difficult to ascertain.
( . . . )
R: . . . 100.3, your easy listening station. When you hear a Bette Midler song playing on the radio there’s a good chance you’re listening to Easy because we play more of Bette than anybody else — “The Rose.” Also heard from Anita Baker with “Sweet Love”; and Kansas, “Dust in the Wind”; The Beatles with “Eleanor Rigby”; and “Richard Marx” with “Right Here Waiting.” Ten minutes in front of eight o’clock. I’m Maggie McKay. Thanks for being here . . .
( . . . )
Q: Well, it’s not easy being me. (“YEAH”) It can be very confusing at times. For example, when I turned off the tape recorder I was thinking about maybe saying something beautiful. (“YOU KNOW”) I’m trying to think about what should I say that’s important and profound and befitting the ‘New Age Jesus’? And I went upstairs. I noticed a cockroach hiding near the panel door of my bathroom. Now my place is spotless. You know I don’t leave any food around. The last time I saw one was the time I had thrown the Messages From Michael book across the room — more out of a sense for the dramatic than anything else. (“AND THAT ONE”) And that cockroach was so big I literally (“DIN”) could not even believe (“IT COULD”) it could be in the same place with me because it couldn’t hide anywhere. I mean, you know, it couldn’t even get in the closet it’s so big. (“OR”) It probably could if it opened (“THE”) the door, itself. But that’s how big this cockroach was. Well, this one was not that big but it took me a while to kill it. (“EAAOOOOOOU”) And I was thinking, “Well, what is this message?” I did want Him to express some kind of love to me. (“SO”) He is expressing love when He allows me to kill a cockroach. Now when He shows me a cockroach and He doesn’t allow me to kill it, that’s another kind of message. So I think what it means is that (“HE”) ‘I have a message for you from the Great Creator.’ I’m referring again to Sun, the December 19th edition, volume 13, number 51. As you know, God is capable of anything and all things. Whatever He wants. In the article about Nostradamus, it says — at least in one translation: (“THAT”)
Mighty warriors spawned from lowly insects Fill the skies above the planet third from the sun. Their goal is a home for brothers circling a dying star.
( . . . )
Q: Speaking of how God works through people’s subconscious minds, that also reveals the reason why people have not been able to present evidence or capture—God forbid—Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. It’s because He knows what everyone’s thinking and can influence everyone’s subconscious minds. So, obviously, that’s why the Loch Ness Monster could surface at any moment if God wanted him to. He could give him some kind or reason like, “Oh, that’s a funny light. I’ll go look at that.” Or, you know, he could make some animal think something that would make him reveal himself to mankind. When God decides it is time. The same thing applies to bigfoots and God only knows how many other people and entities, fairy folk, whatever, mermaids, giant seahorses—you name it—that there are in the ocean. (“NNN” “WHAT”) And not even counting other dimensions. And we all know about ‘worm holes’ and things like that. So my book is basically revealing (“THAT”) all of the superstitions have some basis and possibility even though they’re “ALL MADE UP.” I mean it’s too hard to explain. You’ll have to (“REAL” “JUST TO”) closely examine my book (“AND”) and maybe you’ll understand it better than I. Or maybe — (“WHO”) who knows? We’re not supposed to understand it, anyway. (“BUT”) Just so I can (“UN[DERSTAND]”) — in terms of my predicament — here I am Mabus/Son of Man is going to piss a lot of people off. I mean you can imagine. So now I’m not really worried about nutcases (“HURRY”) going after me because I’m one of them. (“MMM”) And I haven’t really done anything to hurt anyone so I don’t really see why I would be a target — well, I do see why I would be a target but I’ve already delivered my message so what good does it do? (“OOO”) And, besides, maybe that’s what God has planned. Maybe I am supposed to die an interesting death at the hands of some nutcase which really would be the contemporary equivalent of Jesus Christ dying on the cross. We’ll have to wait and see. (“YEAH”) Another reason why I’m not worried about being targeted by the CIA, wackos or anything is because in the Francis X. King Nostradamus book it says that after Mabus dies: